Today, I have been thinking of every time I went against my inner knowing and allowed people into my life, that later burned me. Though I try to always think about how I leaned a lesson in having them in my life, I wonder why I don’t give myself that same consideration.
I don’t allow myself to go out and talk to people that I would normally not. I don’t try and apply for something I know I might not have the paper qualifications for but that I certainly have the experience to do. I don’t give myself the same consideration that I allow of other. I don’t give myself the chance to prove me wrong.
It seems foolish, but it all goes back to my upbringing. I was always told to be a servant not a leader. Subservient to fit in, to be a lady, to not stir the pot. Though I know that those things are not correct, it is extremely difficult to cut patterns of behavior, especially those established when we are young.
Difficult but not impossible. All you have to do is wake up. Wake up and observe your actions. Listen to what you tell yourself. Don’t allow yourself to go on cruise control. In the beginning you will have a strong fight in your hands. You are trying to kill the old version of you and I have never seen anything willingly give up their life. Eventually, your life starts to reflect the new you and the struggles go away.
It’s s time to do it for you and consider yourself first.
Love and light. Zaida Velgara